Many people say that their kids are the best thing that ever happened to them. “Children are a blessing.” They always tell me as their kids are breaking something in the other room. For most of history it was encouraged for women to have children and be mothers. But that doesn’t mean we all want to or should be. If you’re still on the fence about the idea of having children, take a look at my reasons why I decided to not have kids of my own so you can decide for yourself.
The House is Always a Mess
One of the first reasons not to have kids is that it is nearly impossible to keep your house clean when you have young children.
Once you finally get done cleaning the bathroom from a potty training accident, you see that your kids threw all of the pillows off the couch and left their toys on the floor.
Once you finish cleaning that up, they’re smearing peanut butter all over the wall. Then when you take them to the bathroom to get the peanut butter off of their hands you find that they tee peed the entire bathroom with toilet paper. Then you basically do this in some form or another for the next 18-25 years of your life.
Most moms say that this kind of stuff is cute. But for someone with a major cleaning OCD that needs to have a clean house, this is a huge downside for me.
I Love My Figure and Want to Keep It
From what I see in magazines and social media, you can get your old body back after you have children. From what I’ve seen from people I know, your body is never the same again.
Countless women never can seem to shake off their pregnancy weight after they’ve delivered. In addition, many women feel less attractive because their boobs look and feel like sandbags from breastfeeding. (I actually have nightmares about breastfeeding.)
On top of that, there are countless other problems like having a weaker pelvic floor and feeling “stretched out” after giving natural birth. I’ll keep my size 8 hourglass figure I’ll have now thank you very much.
The World Isn’t As Safe as it Used to Be
With the rise of crime and pandemics, the world definitely isn’t as safe as it used to be. We’ve all learned how fast a virus can spread across the world, and unfortunately nobody is safe. Children especially are having a difficult time adjusting to this new world of wearing masks and online schooling.
Speaking of school, school shootings have increasingly become a major problem in the US, and this alone can top the list of reasons not to have kids.
In addition, children grow up with full access to the internet and can easily become victims of scams, cyberbullying, and even child trafficking. Sure there’s parental blocks, but you don’t think they can figure out how to get past them?
There’s Already Enough People
When I was born in 1994, there were 5.6 billion people on the planet. 25 years later in 2020, there are 7.8 billion people.
The average carbon footprint of a person living in the US is 16 tons, while the average globally for a person is 4 tons per year.
In order to prevent global warming, rising ocean levels, and major drought and other weather catastrophes, each human on earth must only produce a carbon footprint of 2 tons per year. Adding another human to the world creates a larger carbon footprint and hurts the planet.
In addition, why would I want my child to deal with the environmental consequences of past generations? It’s not fair what the boomers left for the millennials, and it wouldn’t be fair to the next generation either.
I Lose My Freedom
When you have a kid, you’re committed to that human for at least the next 18 years of their life.
Especially when you have a baby, as the mother you’re with that baby nonstop for the first 4-5 years of their life until they’re able to go to preschool. Even then, your life revolves around that child until they finish high school and send them off to college.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather enjoy my 20’s and 30’s traveling, practicing self care, spending quality time with my husband and hanging out with friends.
They’re a Financial Burden
Amongst the other big reasons not to have kids, finances is really something to consider. Did you know that the average cost of raising a child from birth to majority is $233,610? That’s around $14,000 per year.
That means if you decided not to have kids you could basically save up a down deposit for a house every 2 years.
On top of that, sending your kids off to college can cost an average of $20-40k for the parents, and most likely they’ll still be stuck with loans after they graduate.
Imagine what other amazing things you could do with all of that money. You could go on the vacations you want, buy nice things for your house, and even give back to the community and donate to charity.
Most Marriages Suffer After Children
Studies show that most marriages actually suffer after you have a baby.
The first major change you have to adjust to is that you and your husband are no longer the priority. Many new mothers despise their husbands because they feel like they’re putting in all the work while their husband goes to work and comes home and sleeps through the night.
Meanwhile, the mothers are running on 2 hours of sleep and still have trouble keeping up with the housework and the screaming newborn.
Sex goes out the window or decreases dramatically for many couples after childbirth. So does their personal downtime.
All of these factors increase each partner’s irritability and they tend to argue more than before the child.
My husband and I are best friends now and I wouldn’t want to change that for the world. So we added this to our list of reasons not to have kids.
Kids Don’t Follow Diets
Dietary changes is another big reason not to have kids because it can affect your own health. Let’s be honest. A toddler probably isn’t going to follow my low carb low sugar diet.
Kids love things like cereal, microwave dinners, pasta,candy, and all the other tasty things that I don’t keep in my house to prevent myself from eating them. Chances are I would also have a hard time getting a picky child to eat veggie stir fries or stuffed peppers.
It already took 25 years just to get myself to start eating right. I don’t want to have to convince someone else too.
I Love My Sleep
My husband and I love to sleep more than most people. Our friends know that they shouldn’t contact us before 2PM on the weekends because chances are we’re still sleeping. To be fair, we both work extremely hard at what we do (Lazer works even harder than me.)
Kids don’t like going to sleep, and they’re always up super early. I don’t know about you, but my husband and I are not nice people when we don’t get enough rest.
Not only do I want to keep my current sleep schedule, I also wouldn’t want to be the parents that are always in a bad mood.
I’ll Save Countless Arguments with My Husband
My husband and I get along perfectly without having children to raise. We both come from very different cultural and religious backgrounds. So deciding on how to raise a child can raise many arguments we could otherwise avoid completely.
Questions like, “Will they be raised Jewish or Christian? Will they go to public or private school? Will they celebrate Hanukkah or Christmas?” don’t even have to be discussed because there are no children to argue over.
Save Myself From Potential Disappointment
Even if you raise a child with the best of everything, they can still turn out to be a disappointment.
It’s not a question of if you would still love them or not. Of course you would. But not everyone turns out a doctor or a rocket scientist.
Some kids get involved with the wrong people regardless of how you raise them and can get involved in crime, drugs, and other bad things.
Why would I want to invest my entire life in someone who could potentially just cause me worry and stress for the rest of my life? By not having kids, we can save ourselves a major disappointment.
Stop Bad Genetics
One of the last reasons not to have kids comes down to genetics.
When my husband and I were looking at the pros and cons of having kids the topic of genetics came up.
We both have a family history of mental health issues, as well as some major autoimmune diseases like fibromyalgia.
On top of that, we have both suffered from our own generational trauma. And we don’t think it’s fair to pass any of that on to a future life.
I personally think that having kids is a selfish decision and has way more cons than pros.
Not only is it unsafe physically and environmentally for future generations, but it is also an extreme emotional and financial burden that you can’t back out of for the next 2 decades of your life.
I’m sure watching your kids complete major milestones like graduating, going to college, and getting married are things to look forward to. But I personally don’t think that it’s worth all the effort.
I would much rather save the regret and spend my time with my husband and my two dogs who I consider my children.
Do you want kids of your own? What are your reasons for wanting/not wanting children of your own? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear from both sides!